It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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