sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
