we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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