I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
