Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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