What a fucking waste of an outfit
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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