I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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