seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
