I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
