Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
