It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
