sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
