I want to walk on stilts...naked
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
