he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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