Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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