I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
