This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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