apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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