I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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