Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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