My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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