so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
