Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
