Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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