I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
