where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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