it's like iHOP with fire
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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