it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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