Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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