there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to jail i love you
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
