it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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