I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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