wrigley field is MILF paradise
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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