It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
