I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
