No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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