I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
