and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I think my fart just growled at me.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
