I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
