i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
