they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Randomize
