god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
