She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
