No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
