I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
