If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
