Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
love makes seman taste better
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
