her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
