We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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