ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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